It's my Time

                                      4 years in college
                                      4 years in medicine
                                      1 year internship
                                      1 year board review and exam
                                      4 years residency

14 years... 14 years.. In those years, God knows how many times I thought of quitting. If not for the prayers and constant encouragement I got from my family, I could have not done it.

No one told me it would be this hard. From day one I set foot in medical school, I was entering an unfamiliar war zone. There was no doctor in our family. So, there was no  one to warn me. No one to advice me. Many sympathized but they don't actually understand what I was going through. Which was a good thing, because if I knew all along what it would be like, I swear, I could have been.. hmm??? Perhaps, a teacher, a nurse, or most probably an engineer.

Nobody forgets the first day. We were welcomed by this speech:

                      "Welcome to one of the most prestigious professions in the world.
                        In order to pass a medical school and eventually become a doctor,
                        You have to have these 3:
                                        Money
                                        Average IQ
                                        Determination
                         And the most important among them is the determination."

Since, I was a scholar (of my family), money is my parents and older siblings' problem. Basing on my exams and what my pride claims, I could pass for an average IQ. The third one, the most important of all "DETERMINATION"- I doubt myself. Really. I was such a big, fat whiner. No backbone. Fickle-minded. Couch potato. Because of these, my journey to become a doctor was hellish. I don't have to elaborate the details. Please allow me to conclude "It was because of a miracle I passed medical school and internship." PERIOD.

10 years from medical school to residency, I was like a hermit. I drew away from the society, from my friends and especially from my family. My name was not included in the COMELEC's list of voters last election because I was not able to practice my right of suffrage for three consecutive elections.  Invitations from friends stacked at my desk, neglected, because I don't have time or too tired to come to those events. A lot of times, envy would feel my heart watching my friends in online social medias having the time of their lives traveling, partying and enjoying their youth and salaries.  I could not count how many important family events I missed. How many problems my family went through without me knowing or even if I knew I could not let myself be involved simply because I was too preoccupied with my duties. After 10 years, I looked at my parents, they have changed a lot. Their hairs were thinner and grayer. Wrinkles that were not there before now crawl on their faces. Their robust bodies now look frail and inflicted with illness caused by old age. My family have been through a lot of problems. I was not there.

My heart aches as I look back. It was like I have not lived on those years. I was like a machine. Study. Duty. Study. Duty. Study. Duty.. My motivation was - "One day all these would end and I would have my life back." INDEED! Now I am finally here. Medicine taught me this big word "DETERMINATION." I never had this in me before but now I am proud to wear. I just got my first salary (at the age of 33 years old). This would surely put a smile on my parents face.

The Doctor's Hospital, Inc. Department of OB-GYN 2014

Family representatives.. :D

My little angel.. i just can't get enough of you everyday

*This is a tribute to my parents and brothers, whose sweat and hard work paid off my medical school. My sisters, for putting up  and opening their ears for my constant whining and paroxysmal outburst about my bitterness of this world which would sometimes go on for hours and hours. To my husband, for being the most supportive human ever in my life, for making me laugh when I am crying, for making me see the beauty of life and for loving the good and bad in me. To my baby, for being the best elixir to all my weariness, for teaching me what unconditional love is. And most of all to God. This is all for you Lord - my life.  All glory belongs to You.